How To Deal With a Tyrannical Boss
So, you’ve got a tyrant for a boss. Perhaps they’re the bullying type that puts people down, perhaps they drive you too hard and take you for granted, or perhaps they dismiss all your hard work and never say thanks. Whatever it is, their bad management techniques are impacting negatively on your professional and personal life.
Yet, rather than resigning and running for the hills, here you are on the internet, seeking out advice on how to deal with your difficult boss. Well done. That kind of determination in seeking out solutions is extremely powerful- and will stand you in good stead throughout your billing career.
1. First thing first. Do you actually have a difficult boss?
The first thing you need to assess is whether the situation is actually as bad as you think it is. An extremely common factor destroying boss-employee relationships is a thing called confirmation bias. What it means is that your brain, thinking that the boss doesn’t like you or appreciate you, actively seeks out proof that this is true. This is generally done completely subconsciously.
For example, when you receive an email without a thank you on it, do you instantly take this as a reason to be angry- ‘just another example of how little he values me’? There’s an excellent chance you’re falling into confirmation bias here, so think to yourself- does he thank anyone else? And consider this: would you be this offended if a friend at work didn’t sign off an email with thank you? You’d probably just assume they were busy.
Remember, confirmation bias goes both ways, and your boss may also seize on instances where you’ve messed up, because its suits his or her preconceptions. It’s a right old muddle- a self perpetuating cycle, and often only a discussion with the people in question requesting a ‘clean slate’ can work to reset the situation.
2. Ok, so they yell at you. Probably not confirmation bias then. What can you do?
It’s time to come up with a battle plan.
Assess his or her triggers and then avoid them. Mimic their styles of communication: if they’re short and sharp and don’t like chatting, don’t send long, waffly emails with a smiley face on the end. Speak their language in order not to draw their fire. Watch the people in the office who don’t have a problem with the boss and see how they do things differently.
Keep smiling and remain polite- this will transmit a sense of confidence and coolness. If the boss is a true bully, they may temporarily increase their attacks on you, but they will soon give up when they realise they can’t bother you. They’ll move off to a new target.
Document everything. Whether it’s a job task, query or criticism, keep a record. If their orders are given verbally, pop them in an email and send it to them to prevent them coming back and contradicting you.
Beat deadlines. Don’t just meet them, beat them. Also pre-empt their demands where possible. There’s no better sign of competency than having done things early- and it completely takes the wind out of their sails if they’re hoping to reprimand you for something you haven’t done.
Don’t let your standards drop at work. If the boss really doesn’t like you and you stop performing out of spite, you’ve just handed them a reason to fire you on a silver platter. Even if you’re thinking of leaving, it needs to be on your terms. Don’t give them the power, or the satisfaction, of firing you. Be as efficient, if not even more efficient than ever.
3. So, you have tried, but things haven’t got any better. What now?
It’s time to find greener pastures, so quietly start looking for something better. You’ve tried your best. And no, this is not running for the hills, merely a strategic career stroll to somewhere with a better view.
Until next time
Cheryl